The Third Developmental Layer: Ego Identity, Power & the Roots of Shame
Kids Circle | Article Series
Between 18 months and 4 years, children are not just growing physically—they are forming the foundation of their ego identity. This is a sacred phase where the child begins to step out of pure dependency and into selfhood. The question that begins to shape their behavior is:
“Who am I, and how does my will impact the world around me?”
In this phase, toddlers begin to express clear preferences, assert independence, and test boundaries—not as defiance, but as early expressions of personal power.
They are learning:
Can I say no and still be loved?


